On this dull and miserable day I've rescheduled my running plans to lose kilos of HSC weight and instead I've been thinking- it's a perfect opportunity to clear out my room! It must be a sign. So I got my gloves on and paper towel ready and started sorting through shoeboxes overflowing with decade old birthday cards and receipts and doll clothes..
And an hour later..
I still haven't finished clearing that box. In fact there has pretty much been no progress except a scrawny brown paper birthday tag with its print faintly reading 'happy birthday.' I threw that away with few sentimental qualms. But it's interesting, you see, mesmerising almost, cleaning becomes reading and soon being entranced by sweet words that no longer mean anything to me but are just so fascinating to read and remind me of people I've almost forgotten or I didn't even realise had ever given me a card.
What's particularly interesting are how different ages elicit similar messages e.g. at 13 all my cards seem to read in very pretty cursive glitter pens 'You're 13 now! You're an oldie like me!' or 'You're 16! Have the sweetest day; don't crash! or 'Have an amazing 18th! Can't believe you're an adult.' When I look at these now it's like really! Were we that old at 13! Sweet but so very original. Slightly disturbing though are the extraordinary number of cards that read 'thanks for being a great friend *cough*' and 'wow you're a year older and hopefully a year more mature!' Yes I get the hint thanks.
Sifting through cards here are my all time top five favourite birthday messages:
- You paint my world COLOURFUL (A self painted card)
- This day will be one to remember/ You're a teenager but I will still love ya
- Soon I'll reach your age but you'll never reach my height
- I sincerely hope that you have a very Happy B'day, honestly this is no joke
- You are 'wonderfully perfect' and a fantastically great person. Btw it's my birthday next week.
And now that its time for lunch my room looks virtually the same; sheets and textbooks sprawled on the floor, bookshelves teeming with filled dusty shoeboxes- accidental time capsules of my childhood-and a teen poster collage of Harry Potter and Twilight and Glee and High School Musical and Vampire Diaries and Gossip Girl and Friends and S Club 7- all posters I have fervently collected from magazines- plastered on my wall.
Rearranging my room is a tough task; first there's little wall space to move furniture around- there's an inbuilt cupboard on one side, an almost floor to ceiling window on the adjacent side and the wall thats covered in posters. And then there's that strange feeling when all your furniture's been moved to a different place and its no longer 'normal'. I once moved my bed sideways by the window for a room change and the next day I had my family help me haul it back to its normal position facing the door, and its been that way since. Its the only way it can be. Or I won't fall asleep.
Cleaning my room however is an even tougher task, especially for a hoarder like me. To throw out a birthday card with a sweet message from kindergarten (even though it was probably dictated by their mum) is like throwing away my first necklace or my first basketball singlet or the phone I saved up for; perhaps not, that would be tragic. It's like throwing away a part of my past I will never find again no matter how hard I look. It's like throwing away a piece of my room.
So as you can see I've had a very productive morning and I'm afraid my bedroom clutter will have to live for another day!
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